The following statements are Absolutely TRUE:
- My Husband, Charlie, faints almost instantly when he sees blood.
- I am a complete BEAR when I don’t get Sleep.
- Timothy isn’t a fan of Mommy Napping.
- My husband likes to pretend to be Bob Villa, but is more of a Tim the Toolman Taylor.
- Saturday, all I wanted was a Nap and a couple Mums for my porches.
Ok. Seriously. Waking up on Saturday, I knew we’d have our work cutout for us. Our Labrador, Addison, unbeknownst to us, evidently had picked up something in her paw at the lake two weeks before. Well, it reared it’s ugly head in an absess/open wound late Friday night. So Saturday morning, we were headed to the vet asap. I, being the overacheiver that I am, had the brilliant idea of making it a family trek around town to hit up our grocery lists and more. This was brilliant and oh so not brilliant in many ways.
To start, after a quick stop at Banfield for a check and $100 in Flea/Tick Treatment, Antiseptic Rinse and Antibiotics, we headed to the Home depot. Passing the gas station, my husband gasps at the price of fuel and says, “Change of Plans”.
So we head home to swap out his truck for my Altima and drop the dog off. At this point Timothy has been sleeping soundly and wakes up as we arrive home and is ready to eat. perfect timing :) We feed Mr. Man and then load up into the Altima and head to the Home Depot. Charlie says he’s just going in for some wire to finish his “adding lights to the garage” project. Ok. I stay in the running car with the air on and Timothy asleep in the back. I wake up, god knows how long later, to a crying baby and drool on my headrest. How long does it take to get wire?! Evidently 30 mins or more. Thank heavens we’re not delivering pizza.
Charlie arrives back at the car grumbling about how much more it cost him for this project than expected as we drive out. Then I see them! The MUMS! They are out at the Home Depot Garden Center! After all the summer heat, 1/3 of my potted plants died off and I want to replace them with Mums. However, getting my husband to stop so I can get them is harder than breaking into the Pentagon. Charlie doesn’t see the value in buying plants at this time.
So onward we go to Sam’s Club where I get a lot of my produce in bulk. I’m getting ready to return to Rejuv Medical’s Weight Loss & Perfomance Center to continue my weight loss journey, now that I’m post baby, and clean eating means a lot of produce. After multiple trips down aisles we never buy anything from and 30 mins of comparing prices of formula and diapers to other store prices, we are finally checking out. Then I realise I forgot something. I send Charlie out to the car with Timothy and the purchases, and I go back to get my one item. Well this is Sam’s Club. So of course, I’m standing there waiting to check out my ONE item behind three carts of what seems likes thousands of items. Then someone has problems with their method of payment and it all adds up to an additional 20 mins in the store. I finally get in the car, apologise to Charlie for the wait and tell him, we need to get a move on, Timothy will be hungry again soon and I really need a nap. This is close to 1pm already and I’m getting pretty worn out.
We get a move on to our last stop, Coborn’s for the Penny Pincher Coupon Specials and to get the rest of the groceries we need. Driving up I see Coborn’s has MUMS and they are on sale!! Woot! NOT. Insert Charlie’s “We don’t need to spend money on flowers” speech. The place is packed, as usual on a Saturday, so another hour there and we’re finally on our way home.
Once home, I feed Timothy and tell Charlie I’ll put the groceries away then join Timothy for a nap. This all sounds all oozing with “AHHs” and “isnt’ that greats”…well it’s not.
Timothy eats, but won’t go back down to sleep. In fact, Timothy won’t go down anywhere. He wants to be held at all moments in time. It’s hot as heck in the house because Charlie’s insisting on opening all the windows and turning off the Central Air since the breeze is really nice (mind you he’s working in the garage). I’m shoosing, rocking, swaddling a crying baby boy in an 80 degree house, looking at all my groceries strewn about my kitchen. I see the dead potted plants on my deck and hear hammering and sawing coming from the Mancave, aka Garage. This goes on for about an hour and a half. Then my phone rings and “mom” is on the caller ID. This is where I start to lose it.
There is something about when your mother calls, that any emotion you’ve been holding back will come blasting out like someone put a hole in the Hoover Dam. I no sooner get a Hello out, then start crying and spouting off about Naps, Mums and the lack thereof and how i’m gonna lose it if one more thing goes wrong. My mother offers to drive to St. Cloud from Grand Forks to help out, but I tell her no. I have to figure this one out and it won’t be the first or last day like this as a parent. Then it happens.
“Babe? Can I get your help!?” Charlie yells from the entryway.
I answer in a highly annoyed tone, “WHAT, do you need?”
“It’s a Semi-Emergency” he responds.
“Mom, I gotta Go” and I hang up the phone.
This is where I unload on poor Charlie. I don’t remember it all, but I can only imagine it was similar to the “where’s the tylenol” scene from National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation. Bits and pieces about “I just need sleep / Can’t handle This / Your son won’t sleep / I’m exhausted / My plants are dead / the house is wreck / the Groceries are still out” come flying from my mouth”. See most emergencies for Charlie are “Its starting to rain on the car I’m washing or can you hold this nail”
Then I hear NOTHING. What?! He just walked back out the door. Now I’m crying and talking to myself about talking to myself. Then I hear IT. The meek sound of my husband “Babe?…Babe. babe” it’s getting weaker and quieter. This can only mean 1 thing. He’s injured himself.
Timothy now awake again and crying in my arms, I hurry downstairs. There is my husband looking pale as if he’s going to pass out with the water running bent over the sink. Slightly Panicked, I profusely apologise and ask him “what’s wrong!?!”
Low and Behold, he’s cut his finger. Not a gaping massive ‘I need stitches’ wound. But an ‘I need a bandaid’ cut and it’s taking him out. I grab for a washcloth and a bandaid has he heads to the floor to lay down and put his feet up. Now I’ve got a crying baby, a fainting, barely bleeding husband, a Mother who thinks I’m suffering from PPD, wilting lettuce, no nap and no mums. If the dog pukes on the floor, I’m committing myself.
After another hour or so, I finally have the AC back on, groceries are put away, there’s a new light that works in the garage thanks to my Bandaid’d Bob Villa of a Husband, Timothy is sleeping soundly and I’m headed to bed for a nap, even if it is already 7pm. Charlie’s taking the night shift tonight and I’m having a glass of wine.
Everyday I’m amazed at how one little man can change the way we live our lives. For every trying moment there is a peaceful moment of love that fills my heart with more joy than I could have ever imagined. There will always be milestones in our lives: First Dates, Engagement, Marriage and more. None of them compare to when I’m sitting in the nursery rocking Timothy to sleep and he looks up at me with those big blue eyes, yawns his biggest yawn, then relinquishes himself to sleep in my arms. It’s one of the most precious moments that I am blessed enough to experience daily. Being a Radio DJ, all throughout pregnancy, Timothy experienced my 5-hour radio show and then some from the womb, and now he seems to be comforted by music. So we rock and sing. Sometimes, we even dance around the livingroom. Our playlist varies from day to day. Lately, Edwin McCain’s “I Could Not Ask For More” is the song I sing softly to him. Of Course, I never make it through a full verse and chorus before there are tears streaming down my face and I have a smile that never ends.
DivaShoes&BabyCoos 